Success = Relief

Today I watched this video. This is a video about “making it”. Van talks about how in his career “making it” isn’t like he thought it would be. One of his learning experiences is that Success = Relief.

This video struck a chord in me because “making it” is on my mind all the time. Will I make it as an entrepreneur? Will I ever be able to work for myself and have my own successful business?

Sometimes I daydream and think about how that feeling will be when I “make it”. Will it be celebratory? Will there be a joyous moment when it all dawns on me?

I really want to make it, and I want to have that celebratory feeling badly. Sometimes I feel that I’m working to chase that fantasy feeling of “making it”.

Van is like 50 years old now, and he has many more experiences to reflect on than I do. I still reflected on my own past experiences. I started thinking about what I wanted previously and how it felt when I achieved them.

Three years ago I really wanted a specific type of job. A job from a big tech company that I thought would make me feel like I “made it”. I’m glad in a way that I had the experience of “making it” in my eyes. Looking back at it, my achievement in getting what I wanted did not feel as I thought it would feel.

Success felt like relief. I was relieved that I could put all the questions in my head to rest. I felt relief that I got what I wanted. But besides that, I didn’t feel much else.

Funnily enough, now I don’t even see myself as someone who has “made it”. So this video has got me thinking: what is it that I’m really working towards?